Why I Hate Diets

One of the biggest pet peeves I have found for a lot of us folks dealing with a bowel disease, is the assumption that diet is a key to the "cure". I understand that when people bring different diets and ways to eat healthy to my attention, they are doing it because they care and genuinely think they are helping. And that is very appreciated. BUT, the reality is that every single person who has Crohns or Ulcerative Colitis, has a different reaction to foods. There are no two of us alike. Because diet, what we eat, only effects our symptoms. It does nothing really for the disease process itself.
One thing everyone needs to understand...there. is. NO. cure. YET. I can guarantee that anyone you talk to who fights this has tried every possible diet configuration known to man, and some we make up for ourselves. I have even ate straight baby food and still wear a vitamin batch in the hopes of getting something good into my system.
If someone says to you, or you read in an advertisement, that a certain way of eating "cured" them of their disease. Frankly, its a huge, heaping, steaming load of bullshit. Again. there is NO cure. Bowel problems are one symptom of a much larger disease process. This is our immune system turning on us. Not our gut. It just happens to be right smack in the line of fire.
What we can do, and most of us have done, is keep a detailed journal of foods we eat, symptom we experience, our environment, our mood, what was happening at the moment. And we can usually quickly find things that are triggers for worsening symptoms. By learning from that and by taking very strong medications, we can sometimes achieve whats called remission. But for most of us that is a rarity. The best we can do is control the symptoms and hope for one good day at a time.
For example, when I am in a bad flair, anything I eat bothers me. A glass of water will cause the tell tale rumble and cramping pain. Literally. Water.
Some days I can eat tomato, some days they make me deathly ill. Dairy doesn't bother me even though many claim staying lactose free helps, processed foods destroy me, others live on canned soup. Gluten free does seem to help, but that is probably because a large part of the bowel has trouble with gluten in a healthy person. For someone who has short bowel, or ulcerations, or strictures, the irritation is multiplied. But that doesn't mean all of us do well on gluten free. I know someone who lives on wheat toast and raw oats.
So why does it bother us when someone says things like "have you tried (insert diet/appliance/supplement)?"
or "I read about someone who was cured by eating/not eating (insert food)..."?
It bothers us because it makes us feel like its assumed we haven't tried everything possible. That if we just did this one thing, we could be disease free. Do you not think that after 25+ years of battling this disease and 13 surgeries, I would do anything ANYTHING if I knew it would help?
Please consider your words when talking to someone with this problem. Because we struggle with things like just simply needing a shoulder to cry on, or a friend to NOT ask if they can help. Crazy I know. But sometimes we just want the disease to be ignored and to be treated like anyone else. I went to dinner with some friends last night. Everyone was very sincere in asking how I was feeling. Then we had dinner and not one person commented on what I was eating. We laughed, we joked and for a few hours I felt normal. That's what we need. Friends. Friends who trust that we are doing what we can to help ourselves and know we will ask for additional help if needed but who recognize that we simply want to make the most of every moment we can.